The Past Is Present

Discovering the world of juicing and the extraordinary health benefits of eating  whole-foods has had such a profound effect on my life.  I was amazed to learn that this lifestyle could not only cure my Type II Diabetes, my joint problems and any other problem I had, it could also cure cancer!  CANCER!!  I am in awe of whole foods and the power they hold and could not wait to jump on the juicing bandwagon and get my life and health in order.  I knew that it would be hard to give up my diet of two 2-litres of pops, all the processed foods and my daily meals of pasta and potatoes but I was on a mission! 

Little did I know that my SAD (Standard American Diet) was actually a drug I used to ease the emotional pain that must have started back when I was a child.  I was aware of my issues but I really thought I had worked through them and was... okay.  However, they all came to the surface when I began juicing.  Why?  Because I was trying to let go of the drug that soothed me.  Every emotion I couldn't deal with was buried in pasta, potatoes and cheese.

There is no room in a nutritarian lifestyle for meat, dairy or processed foods.  There is no room for Mountain Dew, sweet tea, white potatoes or pasta.  The nutritarian lifestyle is what I want.  I do well for a few weeks but then stress and depression attack me and I become overwhelmed.  A year ago, I would have given up on the idea and let stress and depression consume me.  But, I refuse to give up no matter how many times I might fall down.  A year ago my only option was to end my life which would end my misery.  Discovering juicing and whole foods suddenly gave me another option - life.  I now have two options; to live or die.  Choosing life would mean adopting a plant-based lifestyle.  Choosing death would mean living as I always have.  I can't accept that.  I cannot look into the future and see myself as I am now...  I just don't want to be there if that's what my future holds.  So, you see, I can't stop trying because it means death...