It's been a little over a year since I've posted here. As I read through some of my old posts I feel as if I'm reading another person's blog. Every thought she wrote strikes a chord within me. I remember the emotions she felt when she wrote it. I remember the guilt and how discouraged she felt when she binged or when she took a small bite of something "toxic". I remember how she told herself what a failure she was. She had never succeeded at anything so what made her think she'd succeed at becoming healthy?
I cried for her. I wanted to reach out to her and tell her to be patient that she actually was succeeding. I wanted to ease her pain and the guilt she felt. I wanted to tell her how worthy she is to be healthy and happy. But, then, I realized, I'm the one who wrote it...
It's like the, "boat drifting on the water" scenario. I felt like I was getting absolutely nowhere. I was running in place. I countered every good thing I did with something bad. And, that's all I focused on; everything I was "failing" at. However, there was/is one thing that I was/am pretty persistent/consistent with - I NEVER GAVE UP. Because of that, I AM succeeding!
I talk as if I've finished my journey but I'm right in the middle of it. I'm 160 lbs. down and becoming healthier. My mind and body have changed so much, I can hardly believe I'm, me...
