Friday, June 1, 2012


Today is the first day of my 30 days of raw venture!  YAY ME!  I have been wanting to do a juice-fast but I just don't think I can commit to that right now.  Since eating raw fruits and vegetables has the same results but just a slower process, I thought this is something I can definitely do.  

A few months ago I started seriously thinking about commitment.  I had avoided it in just about every aspect of my life and just the very thought of it made me cringe.  Someone might call me on a Monday and ask me to have lunch with them on Friday and my response would be, "Call me on Friday and we'll see."  And, if I did commit myself to something, I'd fret over it because then I definitely would have to honor my commitment to someone else.  I just couldn't honor a commitment to myself.  for what seems all my life, I had failed at anything I attempted to do.  Not only with diets but with everything!  One day I would be gunge-ho and the next day I would be so depressed I could hardly get out of bed.   Eventually, I was at the point where I stopped making commitments.  I wouldn't commit to a relationship; I wouldn't commit to bettering myself; I wouldn't commit to taking someone to the store!

What bothered me most was that I wanted to go back to God but I was so afraid of failing that I could not make the commitment.  I would pray occasionally asking for help to return to Him but deep in my heart I felt I would fail and that He would get tired of me asking and eventually would tell me to go away.

I have learned a lot since then.  My thinking has evolved and I understand more clearly what I have done to myself emotionally.  I need not fear commitment or failure.  I'm doing better and making small commitments that I know I can accomplish.  30 days of eating 100% raw is one of them.  :o) 

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